If You’re In Your Twenties, Read This Before You Turn Thirty

How-to-waste-your-life-dreaming-dog

I’ll tell you a painful fact, and this is the truth.

Some of us are dreamers.

We like to think we have goals, but we have mere dreams (or daydreams). We spend time elaborately describing the future we want—to ourselves and to others—and are so captured by this future that we take no meaningful action in the present.

And so that future never comes. And we feel frustrated.

Why?

Many of us have listened to motivational speeches and read motivational books that say: Create a goal, focus on the goal and work towards it. We passionately write down our incredible goals and begin to think about them dreamily every day.

People around us can see that we are not working towards this goal, but we keep talking and talking and talking about this goal. In the end we achieve nothing.

Still don’t get it? Here’s an example:

 

Profile of a Dreamer

A dreamer attends a motivational program/seminar/sermon or reads a motivational book and gets fired up to create a change in his life. He decides that he wants to become the next Dangote. He writes this goal down, “I want to become the next Dangote”, and probably pastes it somewhere he can see every day, so he can keep his focus.

He’s passionate about his goal and can’t wait to speak to others about it. He tells his significant other about his brand new goal, and she is excited and wants to support him. Everything seems bright and ready to go.

But one week later, he is still talking.

Two weeks later, he is still talking.

Four weeks later, he is still just talking.

Six weeks later, he gets frustrated that he has made no progress and believes that he needs a better motivational book, because the previous one—according to him—does not work.

He gets a new book or seminar, and the same thing happens again.

And this cycle continues.

Until he becomes depressed, and says the speakers are frauds who lie to get money from people.

 

What Mistake Did He make?

The motivational speeches/books are not the problem, but they are definitely not the solution. Motivational speakers are like traffic wardens—they show the way, but they can’t take you to your destination. That part is your responsibility.

The main summary of everything a motivational speaker will tell you to do in order to succeed is:

  1. Create a goal and write it down
  2. Work towards your goal with passion
  3. Keep being focused on your goal until you achieve it

This is entirely correct. But, there’s a problem.

Many of us do the creating a goal part—it’s not that hard. We are also very passionate about our goals. But many of us forget the most important thing.

 

Strategic Work

When it comes down to the nuts and bolts of achieving anything at all, strategic work is the path that leads there.

Let me illustrate:

When you first want to achieve a goal, we can say that you are at A and you want to get to Z. But to get to Z, you must first go through B, then C, then D, then E, until you get to Z. This is plain logic. This means that from A, you first focus on how you’re going to get to B. When you reach B, then you can begin thinking about C.

But for many people, who are truly passionate about their goals, they are at A and they focus almost entirely on Z. This doesn’t make sense.

Let’s say you want to get to work early. Do you first focus on getting to work early? No.

  1. You first focus on waking up early.
  2. Then you focus on bathing and brushing in the shortest possible time.
  3. Then you focus on eating your breakfast as fast as humanly possible.
  4. Then you focus on getting to the bus stop and getting on the first bus you see.

After you have done all this, then you can get to work on time—but only after.

This is the only practically possible way to achieve any goal.

 

How Can You Apply This

First, tell yourself the truth. Have you been working strategically towards your goal, or have you been dreaming about it?

Think about this for 15 seconds.

No, really think about it.

Understand that the only way we can change anything in our lives is by first telling ourselves the truth. Do this before reading any further.

Second, think through your goal. Who are your role models that have achieved this goal already? What process did they take to get there? You need this in detail. Take the time to get this information for at least 3 or 4 people.

Third, get a piece of paper, a book or an excel sheet. If you did the second step in detail, you will notice a pattern in the success paths of the 3 or 4 people you studied. Use this pattern to construct a plan that can get you to your goal. Your plan should be good, but not necessarily perfect—you’ll modify it as you go along.

Fourth, get to work ASAP. This is the point where more than 50% of people mentally stop. The goal, the passion and the planning are so romantic—but the work isn’t. Work does two major things: 1) The more you work on your craft, the better you get at it, and 2) It is the only thing that moves you towards your goal. Sitting and thinking makes you a poor philosopher.

 

What You Can Do Now

  1. Tell me (in the comments) the goal you have, and your role models who have achieved it. Tell me too whether or not you have been only dreaming about it. Also tick the box marked, “Check before you leave your comment to get these in your mail”
  2. Think about a friend who really needs this. Copy the link from the address bar and send it directly to him or her or scroll down and share it on Facebook and Twitter.

 

[jetpack_subscription_form]

For speaking enquiries, click here or send an email to uchendutalks@gmail.com with your details. Photo courtesy themost10.com

Comments

  1. says

    Great one uche. You nailed it in once again. Its not easy going for the goal you desire. Some are determined but constraints from reaching the goal can fustrate efforts. It only takes further determination that inspite of the constraints I won’t be pulled down in reaching my goals. Its not easy but you must try hard. As for those who dream of somthng big but don’t make moves to actualise it, I fall into that bracket. Took me a long while to realise I have been wasting time. The 1st day i made my move, it felt soooo good and right. Its not been easy but I don’t have the mind of quitting till I achieve my goal.

  2. says

    Very motivating and inspiring…..i want to be a successful makeup artist and beauty consultant, own a makeup school where i will also be running my beauty studio in the nearest future by God’s grace. I have started following my dreams little by little, making more contacts, learn new techniques and building up strategies, bumps here and there but definitely not giving up. Thanks for dis article, thumbs up.

  3. John Archibong says

    Thanks Uche. But most times its easy, very easy to analyse why people don’t act. But in reality its not easy to act. Using myself as case study.

    • says

      I can totally relate to that John. But it got to a time in my life a few years back that I put my foot down and decided to take action.

      It’s never easy, but it is possible.

  4. says

    I am a dreamer. Guilty as charged. In love with the idea of having & reading many academic texts and Guitar tutorials. However after coming home from work, i find it easier to curl up and surf the net for hours or watch a movie or seasonal drama downloaded at the office.

    Next morning, i am painfully aware that i didn’t stick to my ‘jacking’ timetable and thus wasted the whole day. I feel very guilty and may or may not make up time lost later that evening. But it’s a certainty that 2-3 days later, i’m back to my old ways.

    What I’ve learnt from articles 1-4 is three-fold

    1. My future: fantastic, ordinary or horrible is directly attached to my present habits.

    2. Extreme measures to acheive my goal, like putting off all movie and surfing distractions to 3hrs on my workoff day, will now be adopted.

    3. No matter how tired i am, each day, i will cover substantial amounts of material needed to obtain the certification i have in view slated for September.

    Thanks ‘Books’. I needed this.

  5. samson.S.A says

    …Dream goal,set goal and runing after ways to actualise it,it so good.But what of Man proposed,God disposed action.God help us

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>